True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize