im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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