The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
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Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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