people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
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So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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