Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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