She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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