Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize