There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
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I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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