: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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