Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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