so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize