My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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