dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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