you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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