Welp...herpes.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When are your genitals available?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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