What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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