Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
They are going to name an STD after you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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