you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
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I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
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Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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