i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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