EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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