That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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