quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize