shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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