he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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