i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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