he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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