Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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