So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize