You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize