we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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