i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize