if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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