she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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