Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize