I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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