she kept yelling 'call me bella'
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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