im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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