Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
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Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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