Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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