in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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