I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize