Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize