Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize