I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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