You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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