we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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