I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize