she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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