and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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