I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We just shotgunned beers for America
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize